Residues

             I work for a government bank and my chief manager first time was in a good mood called us spontaneously for a meeting. I expected a target or some efforts on business or for some marketing which is not my kind of thing. It started by making a note of what we have done and doing to the stress we handle from customers as well as management and also about our future.              Then a voice of my head came from my colleague until our retirement we should be alive to retire. And all of them turned against her and talked like she is thinking negatively which will never happen. Manager was talking that even if you get any disease you also have the cure nowadays and he mentioned even cancer have a cure and looked into my eyes. The statement stirred something inside my soul.               Any disease you can get and nowadays you have the cure for everything. Is that true?...

Today is my colleagues birthday who turned out to be a good friend of mine nowadays. It's not like how we started. We had clashes we never spoke to each other. Last year we were left alone to talk and surprisingly both thoughts matches and in all that talking I found a wounded good heart. What she was releasing often was the frustration that was built up inside her heart by the society. And after looking at her this way one day, I said to her "I know when you are sad and when you are happy", she stopped laughing and looked into my eyes with a deep protruding look. Nowadays after seeing all good souls sufferings, I don't wish anything for anyone, I know my plan is not going to work in life. And I just feel like, "no matter whatever you are going through, you can count on me as a good company".

2017 the toughest year of my life and that also means blessed year too. Seeing your family suffer is the worst thing that can happen, and hiding your pain before them and acting like nothing happened is the worst experience when you feel broken inside and weak to the infinity. My brother and my husband was the shoulder that carried me along with my pain those days, the words they give at that time was the lesson I learnt on 2017. Admits all confusion, fear, doubts, I learnt to pray, put everything on God's feet, trusting Him that wherever he is taking us will not harm us to whomever he is giving us will not harm us, blind faith, full faith with all my heart and the only faith I had. The problems I faced were numerous but in everything I was empty handed only learning to trust God with all my heart, and at the end God walked us through. I was not so into deep faith before, I was not knowing how to trust God blindly and with whole heart, I never understood how impossible thing...