Residues

After my last post I had a deep thought on life and its change. My mind recalls the things that had been before and the state it is now. It has changed a lot. Either reduced, replaced, added to or forgotten. But what I found myself was still with the same feelings and habits and nature but with better understanding. This understanding though hurts now as the expectations also remains the same as before, but nothing changes without atleast a part of self in the matter as I believe and somehow I learnt to take the truth of things that has changed, the respect for its feelings with the love unchanged. My mind tells me to run away to not be aware of the reality that hurts me and my heart tells me to remain and running is not a solution but a awkward thing to do, after a serious struggle between heart and mind over the changed life for few hours,  admits forgotten expectations, longing for the nostalgia, my heart won it over making me enough gentle, patient and more...

After my classes were over, I came outside with my new friend Ayswarya and sat with Prabha another friend of mine who was preparing for her next class to teach. Prabha is a soft-spoken, matured, responsible girl, the entire opposite way to me and Ays. Ays have lot of stuffs to make you laugh and admire. She is completely selfless and good-hearted, how do I explain more, one can learn many more good things from her and I have to say she is the one who holds the credit of bringing back my smile and kiddish nature these days. Thanks to God!! On friday while coming to class there was an accidental death of a person who is just 35 who has a little daughter and a wife who is 6 months pregnant and road was almost blocked. When we sit out, I asked Ays,  Me: Why death comes? Ays have a distinct quality in answering a paragraph to one word answer.. Ays: See, while you are going to home...  I stared at her... Prabha: (Laughs...) Ays: .....ok ok you are going ...

Good attitude come deeds are never regarded well. Whenever I was asked money, I feel so responsible about the person's situation and give him the money he/she would need for a meal. Likewise one day at the station while I was walking alone an old man asked me money and I gave him. You know, he looked so old, his hairs are all grey, he couldn't walk straight, his eyes were swollen, this person could not work anymore and I usually have a feeling of my passed grandfather and think if he was alive I would be doing it to him as he was no more I think that doing such things to people outside satisfies my heart that I did it for him.  (if it is a woman I have a double impact on doing not only coz woman have more issues in living a life also because I have never seen two of my grandma’s on whom I still have a craving that atleast I could have seen them. I’ll look their wrinkled face till it disappears imagining had my grandma looked so) But after a short time while I accid...

Tying a Tie to the man I belong make me feel so pride. Some soft daily matters I love doing is tying a tie and putting up the buttons on the shirt. It may sound silly but I'm sure there is something bigger for a girl to feel proud of tying a tie on her husband's shirt or putting buttons on.

Napoleon Bonaparte could sleep like a baby right before battle and even when cannons were booming nearby. He says.. Different subjects and different affairs are arranged in my head as in a cupboard. When I wish to interrupt one train of thought, I shut that drawer and open another. Do I wish to sleep, I simply close all the drawers and then I am - asleep." ~ Napoleon Bonaparte P.S.  நம க்கு நீட்டி நிமுந்து படுத்தாலும் தூக்கம் வரமாட்டேங்குது.. நெப்போலியன் வாழ்க!!

நீ இல்லாமல் இந்த உலகை காண விரும்பவில்லை என் கண்கள் விட்டு விட்டு மூடி திறக்கும் அவை ந ி ற ந்தரமாய் மூடிக்கொள்ளவே துடிக்கிறது