Sad Hours...

Some moments in life seems challenging my endurance. Challenges my willingness to sustain, my capacity to keep me light, my ability to enjoy life or simply challenges my smile…

I have woke up and felt the fragrance of early morning, the chirpings of birds, lovely greens all over. Have seen the sky turning bluer and bluer, the moon full and bright, flowers smiling and dancing with the cool breeze. I had said to myself what a heaven is this I’m living in. I have met with atleast two people smiling to me while I’m out just for less than an hour. I would wonder whether I have been this nice to make other people’s day. Everything shining bright and with full of love and charm that can never get me down…

But there are times I feel what a world is this I’m living in. Like Sindbad’s story I’m living in a world so empty. I wake up with yet another morning but with hopeless heart. With no urge and passion to go forward and meet the day. Felt very tired to greet a day with my own smile. And now my nose loses its capacity to smell the fragrance, my ears turns deaf to the beautiful sounds around, eyes turns colour blind. Seeing everything in black and white and felt the same in me. I saw the sky turning darker and darker and make me feel threatened. Sore heart sees the flower in dullness and says, so as me…

I have become less interested in everything I’m. Very tired to listen around. I need rest. Many things have been tucking my memory and make it work really really slow. I have to completely erase everything and live with what I have been brought into the world as a child. I have to make me whole and light. The burden is too heavy to carry. I’m gonna lay it down. My heart is bankrupt. I’m gonna deposit it with the initial amount that God have gifted me. As this says only in emptiness, we can fill with what we love, and I was surprised to notice my hope twinkling in my eyes…

Thank God I’m not dead. I have another chance to patch up and enjoy life…