God’s Will

When I had my full faith and trust in God and all went wrong and when I got so many questions all said one thing ‘Its God’s Will’. I don’t know why I am not praying anymore may be my inner heart is scared thinking only God’s will will happen. I understand prayer is not a shopping list I can get from God, prayer is to praise worship and thank Him. Whenever I sit in prayer I see my brother in pain lost his better-half forever to death and having two small kids and struggling in life. My dad and mom who was already not well, now dad lost his better-half forever to death who together came for accompanying my brother. I become mute. I don’t find happiness and my family won’t get it back in any form. I know I am a sinful person and I can be given anything serious to suffer and die why my family? Hadn’t any of my single prayer not been heard? Hadn’t any seed of my trust moved a mountain? Without food I stood on the doors of OT and prayed throughout, didn’t you heard me Lord. I am not able to take this pain.