A Smoking Gentle Man

It was a busy day for me; I had a lot of things outside to get done. That includes my biggest time grabber shopping. Its not necessary to describe what shopping means to a girl and how much time she is gonna spend with her list. Though I didn’t have a big list, I had the necessity to travel from east to west to complete my purchase. So I was on the way with my dad for the purchases.

While riding, I, on noticing all others by the morning, told dad about how many people were seriously busy walking towards something in life. Dad exclaimed the same to me saying we cast everything to God and so had time to enjoy the journey.

By the time we reached where we had our first item in the list to be purchased, we parked the vehicle behind and walked on to climb a small stairs to locate the shop above. When we were walking through the corridor, I noticed 3 guys standing in formal dresses chatting together. By then I walked with my sight on the shop. Suddenly while facing the shop it faces them walking behind my dad something grabbed my eyes and I shocked and pleasantly surprised by his activity.

One guy who is standing there facing the shop was smoking and in noticing me (a girl) is gonna pass by, he grabbed his cigarette off the corridor as preventing the smokes from it afar from the passage area. I was stunned for a second by his gesture. I haven’t seen someone smoking and that too unknown, considering the feelings of fellow citizens especially women and children when they cross such things. I felt an urge to look at his face and salute him by heart. And I did it.

Mysteriously Happy Journey

There are many things in life that we see as burdens. Usually when something happens that we don’t like but having to carry it, we do with utmost anger, frustration and vexed state. The only thing that comes to our mind was God but never we think of Him in our happiness and will be always ready in our adversaries to curse Him or make him stand in the accused bench and throw him questions.

Why I’m speaking like a very good girl is that I have seen something that made me feel bad about myself. Many God’s nature, have obeyed God’s word till now without murmurs because they don’t have much brain to confuse. If 6-sense man is this much brilliant to spot God with questions, how much more God is intelligent in the creation of us for a particular journey.

I usually have a feeling that we have brain fully occupied with all the other stuffs that makes us worry; running for a worthless purpose in a terrible world and so on. But when I was sleepless sitting before my laptop without knowing what to do in it, I wandered my eyes and empty mind over the room. I saw something so strange to my world. It’s the little life, a small caterpillar with its ash nest 5 times the size of it, moving on the rough surfaced wall. Suddenly I felt a slap. I listened to it more carefully and wondered many things. It was soooo small that it could not carry its own nest even if it is standing in a single place. Then why it’s going somewhere and where is that going? I don’t know whether it is the best far sighted creature. Even human’s big eyes have a limitation and this small creature, couldn’t even spot where its eyes were, don’t know will they see in which direction it is going to. What will it do if it travels in the wrong direction? Will it say, “ Uhhh, Me being very small, I have carried this burden all way and that too travelled a long way but ended in a destination completely opposite to want I want”? Or Will it say on its way like, “Why God had created her so big who is mercilessly watching my sufferings with which in 2 steps she can cover a wide range but don’t need to, me being so small want to cover a vast area with carrying my heavy weighed nest”?

But when noticing it so deep, it seems it don’t thinks so, for first it has no brains and second it goes with an attitude that I can add a dubbing for it like, “That is not my burden that’s my home, you know how protective it’s for me? You don’t know my purpose and where I’m going to, I love to fulfil my duty and sorry I don’t have time for you and your silly questions and murmurs. La La La, La La La... ”

When I see such things, I feel ashamed of myself, I also have thought If humans were kept in short of brain, they would all have used their heart and lived so happily ever after as in fairy tales. Even all fairy tales have no all-good things happening. Every fairy tale has a witch and a curse that affects and after suffering, someone, mostly her own hero will come and rescue and helps the girl destroying the witch and the curse and they lived happily ever after. Every happily ever after must have a curse or a dark magic happened before for some other reason that makes the happily ever after feeling so special.

So from now on when anything happens, whether I like it or not, whether I know it’s purpose or not, I’m going to believe whatever I do or whatever happens, it is my purpose, my own purpose for my happily ever after and I’m happy to take my journey and enjoy it on the way, La La La, La La La...

Riding a Bike Being a Girl...

Its very natural as breathing for me to connect me as a human before I put on something else like Girl, Indian etc. So it’s pretty normal for me to go out, ride a bike and do things on my own without triggering anything outside.

This was the case happened last week, a dark evening, about 7.15pm, I was riding home from my class. It was a tedious route and so the traffic but that day it was less crowded. I was heading towards my home, about 5 kilometres afar of my home, a bike of two guys where going in dead speed ahead of me. I’m usually pretty normal in my speeding but I’m less patient in following a dead speeding vehicle in safe and less crowded road. Those guys where going in the centre not considering about the vehicles behind.

I went slowly behind them and listened whether they’d leave some space for the vehicles behind or will they move fast. But no sign of the two happened so I seek to show them there are vehicles behind and so I moved up to them on their left (where even no space for overtaking is left and no place in the right too) without the intention of overtaking them through left but in the intention of showing them to leave space or move fast. The guy who drove the bike saw me. I thought he has noticed me so he will leave some space or move fast. But now he has put on his hero mask and was moving in a zig zag manner without letting me to overtake it and turning and seeing in intervals and showing his driving flair.

Ooo I hate this behaviour. I was eagerly going to my home to see my mom and say how the class went for the day, idhula idhu veraiya. Being kind is more necesaary than being timid/stern. So anything usually doesn’t ruffle me. When he was siding towards the left, I triggered my accelerator and overtook him in the right, knowing what he’ll do next. Yes he overtook me with utmost speed. And the road was clear; I was happy and went on my way to home.

I don’t understand where his egoism was when he was circusing before me. I don’t have any ego regarding the gender overtaking me. Who have urgency or speeding greater than me, overtake me. It’s very simple. On my turning he was standing with his vehicle and talking to his friends seems he resides somewhere inside. I came home as I planned to.

It’s silly when some guys feel an urge to prove that they are more powerful, why don’t they think they are far more than these things? In my point strong people don’t feel an urge to prove themselves. I value both guys and girls are equal. They are far more divine from spotting them with the stupid question of can you do this or can you do that. Both have their own strengths and their own weaknesses. Living as a man is a success for a man and living as a woman is a success for a woman. Driving a scooty is definitely not a man thing and overtaking any vehicle if they are dead slow is not a particular gender thing too. I believe it’s a human thing ;-)

I wondered what had grown in these years of independence or the transformation from stone age to new age. Actually in my point of view, the strength of an individual person is in how kind they are.

நீ

நேற்று என் வானம் மழை தரவில்லை

ஏனோ என் தோப்பில் குயில் வரவில்லை

வானவில் இருந்தும் வண்ணங்கள் இல்லை

பூக்கள் இருந்தும் புன்னகை இல்லை

அரண்மனை வாசல் தாண்டி நான் அன்புக்கு ஏங்கினேன்

உன்னிடம் சேர்ந்த பின்பு தான் சொர்கத்தை வாங்கினேன்

எனக்கிந்த சொந்தம் போதுமே

எனக்கொரு துணையாய் உனைத்தான் நினைத்தேன்

நினைத்ததை முடித்து உன்னிடம் ஜெயிப்பேன்

நிழலினைப் போலே உன்னுடன் நடப்பேன்

உயிருக்குள் உன்னை சுகமாய் சுமப்பேன்

இதுவரை வாழ்ந்த வாழ்விலே

கனவுகள் இல்லையே

இனி எந்தன் பாதை யாவிலும் நீ தான் எல்லையே

நீ இன்றி சொந்தம் இல்லையே

நீ இருந்தால்

காதல் தாய்மை இரண்டு மட்டும்

பாரம் என்பதை அறியாது

உன் பளிங்கு முகத்தைப் பார்த்துக்கொண்டால்

பசியோ வலியோ தெரியாது

The Best Vision To Take A Step Forward

Its been long I decorate my pages with my own scribbling. One fine evening, I was on my way to shopping with my dad for few purchases for my cousin’s wedding. I hate one thing about me completely is, I’m totally careless when I’m with my loved ones. After all the other purchases, while coming out dad reminded me to buy small stuffs and suggested a platform man who was selling those near by. I went nearby and asked him one set safety pins. He picked up one set and gave me and then picked up another set and told me, “Please buy one more set, it would be cheaper for Rs.5”. I will always be running out of pins, whenever I need them I go searching here and there scholding them so and that too I don’t have heart to ignore anything for these people. So I received it from him and told my dad I would buy two sets. My dad told me to notice that he has no vision. Sightless, one of the most horrible things to face, carry and live with.

Careless me, haven’t noticed it throughout the conversation. I was disappointed with my carelessness and shocked at his lifestyle. In no place it was visible that he is sightless. He is such a capable person. And I always have shocked at their ability to take life with their own confidence, courage and strength. If you have experienced it you would definitely know how strong they are. He can beg, but he didn’t and don’t want to. Even if we force them with money they would not receive it and will ask us only to buy things if we want to give them money. What a great self respect they have! Though the total world is dark for them, they always have the best vision to take their step forward.

I told him, “Here is the rupees” and he leaned his hands and I located his hands and gave him his amount. He would not know even if someone cheats him. It was not even a small shop it was just the platform. Rain and sun will tear them apart. We people within going for a small ride in the sun feels very much for the skin and paint our faces with sunscreens, cover our faces like terrorists and curse the sun from here. But with a beautiful spirit he came forward to face the horrible life. He might lose everything he has in his dark world of hot sun and rain but definitely not His Self Respect, His Strength and His Beautiful Spirit. We have a lot to learn from them. I don’t believe in spotting a top celebrity for my role model. Better I would be wholeheartedly willing to spot these people as my navigator.

Life is like a Sand Clock...

Life is like a sand clock. Many are the times we feel we don’t change but things and people around us do... But it’s just a sand clock. Some are fast and some are slow be sure you will reach there too. May be of some useful time up opportunity mingling with other sands. Everyone will reach the place where everyone is and will start the play again.

Cherish your journey and remember your destiny.